Sunday, August 7, 2016

Schizophrenia is a way of life, not a choice

Schizophrenia is a way of life for me not a choice.  I was first diagnosed in 2005 when I had my first breakdown since then I constantly her voices and see figures of people. I was married for 16 years, and we got divorced, but a wonderful thing came out of the marriage is my 18 year daugher is the light of my life and what keeps me alive everyday. I have been seeing the same physiatrist for 11 years, Been inpatient several times.  Before my divorce my life was very normal as long as I was taking my medications we lived in a quiet neighborhood both my wife and I had good jobs and was living a nice normal life until I had a complete melt down I had to go inpatient at the Linder Center Of Hope for a couple of weeks which made me lose my job and  I went on disability and eventually my wife wanted a divorce, So I granted her the divorce after many attempts on my part to get back together I finally granted and excepted the divorce which meant I had to find new place to live, and start a new life.  I was quiet lucky my parents just bought a three story home with it's own apartment on the first floor, so my living situation was settled.  I have had many panic attacks which make me feel like I'm dying,  I see People all the time, and try to spark a conversation with them then they just disappear.  I always see shadows of people and hear whispers so much it's hard to hold a conversation with someone.  But I cope with it now knowing they will never go away so I just live with it.

Today I still live with my parents, I did rent an apartment in town and lived there for 4  months. 2 months of living on my own I was suffering with blackouts and seizures and my doctors advised me not to live alone, so I moved back in with my mom.

Today I am living with mom in the river house.  I still see people, things, and hear whispers but I cope with it.

Till Next Time